Seriously, this only happens to me!

So after taking Jon to work this morning I returned home and parked on the left side of our one way street. As I got out, I stepped in kind a grassy dirt area on the sidewalk where a tree is planted and walked the block to our apartment. I sat down at the computer like I do every morning, only this morning I smelled a funky aroma in the air. I kept getting whiffs of this awful smell and had no idea where the heck it was coming from. Finally, after smelling it several times, I checked the bottoms of my shoes and sure enough I had stepped in dog poo! Oh ya. Not just a little, but the entire bottom of my shoe was COVERED in poo. This must have been poo from a ginormous dog, like "The Beast" from "The Sandlot" or something.

At that moment in time I was thanking the Lord that we do not have carpet and then spent SEVERAL minutes cleaning my shoe with scalding hot water. I finally got it off but have it admit that was one of the grossest moment I've had in a while. I had to pick the poo out with a small spoon because my shoes have a gazillion tiny crevasses on the bottom of them. GROSS I know! But I finally got it spic and span. And managed to keep my breakfast down.

When it came around to lunch time I headed back down the block to the car so I could grab Jon and Sarah. As I was driving down the road there came the smell again, gut wrenching burn your nose hairs kind of poo smell. Why in the world would that smell still be lingering?
But it wasn't still lingering......sure enough, I stepped in the same freakin' pile of poo again, only this time got it on the other shoe! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, I knew the pile was there, but my brain completely forgot and I managed to step right in the same area again. Who does that? Only this time I managed to smear it all over my husbands car mat which now needs to be washed. GROSS!!

Dear Beast Owner,

Please pick up your dogs mess when they finish, it's just common courtesy. That is why on every street there are little doggy bags for people to use. The country of Germany supplies them for that very reason!

Thanks,
Disgruntled Stephanie

I told Jon and of course all he can do is laugh and say "April Fools!" No he did not place the poo there for me to step in, but it sure was a nice prank from "The Beast." Thanks a lot!

I guess that's my pay back for playing all of those pranks on my brother when we were younger for April Fools. Like tying a rubber band around the sprayer on the kitchen sink, so when he turned on the faucet, water sprayed everywhere including all over him..... Karma, that's what I get!

Happy April Fools everyone! Watch your step ;)

Dear Persons Below and Above Me

Dear Persons Below:

Why is it that you play your very annoying techno music very loudly during the day so that I can not enjoy reading New Moon. Why do you listen to techno at all. I cannot concentrate while I am reading because I constantly here thump thump thump under my feet and for some odd reason cannot block you out like I can most things. Please turn your music down so I don't rip my hair out, I just got it colored and cut and I really like it now. But you might drive me to a bald head.

Dear Persons Above:

I absolutely love love love children; I have 5 nieces and nephews back home and hope to have children some day (a long time down the road). But your children are terrible. Or is it ma'am, that you do not control your kids. You let them run all day long back and forth through your house (which my parents would have never allowed) and I can hear every single step they make because of the wood floors you have. Don't get me wrong I think children should have fun and should be able to have fun, but outside! I can also hear them screaming and crying because I'm guessing the person who built this building back in the medieval days made the floors paper thin. I wish you could hear how loud you are. At first I just tired to ignore it, because I again love children and never want to make a person think otherwise, but now it seems like it is getting worse and worse. Not to mention hearing the kiddos running at full speed first thing at 6:30 in the morning. Nothing better than waking up to a stampede of wild elephants above you. I wish you would teach your children to not stand in front of my apartment door and scream and cry when you are leaving for the day. I am not one to complain but you make me want to scream and cry too.

Ah, the joys of living in a brownstone!
I really am not complaining, I love it here. I've just never really lived under and above loud tenants. I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed.

A bit a coffee and a breakfast burrito will make it all better
Have a wonderful weekend

Steph the Hypochondriac

Yesterday while I was unpacking a man came to the door and told me he was here to check our gas meter in our home. So I let him in to do his business and when he was done he came to me, not being able to speak good English and drew on a sheet of paper the letters CO. After he does this, he than says this is measuring too high and we need to call someone to check it out.

If you haven't met Hypochondriac Stephanie yet, "Hello nice to meet you. Here I am!"

I had a conniption fit just as soon as he walked out the door. I got on the internet and started looking up carbon monoxide poisoning and all of the symptoms that occurred from the poisoning! Of course after reading everything I could about CO poisoning, I started feeling every symptom, fatigue, nausea, headache, dizziness etc etc etc! I called Jon and had him call the landlord to let him know. He said they would get someone out on MONDAY! Are you kidding, I'm dying here!!!

So right when Jon gets home from work, I run out of the house and we drive to the airbase to get a carbon monoxide detector. All the while I am still feeling sick and have no idea what I am going to do. (and Jon is laughing at me because I'm such a darn goof and do this all of the time. My poor husband!) When we get home the first thing we do is plug in the detector. That was at 5:25 p.m. It is now 10:28 a.m. and of course (SILLY ME) there has been no alarm from the monitor! I guess I don't have carbon monoxide poisoning! (Thank you Lord) I guess I might have overreacted a little. Ya think!

TGIF!!!!!!!!

What a Morning!

The most embarrassing thing happened to me today!! If this has happened to anyone,I am sure you will understand my complete and utter shock/embarrassment.

I had just gotten back to out hotel room from a run and HAD to take a shower due to the fact that I was covered in sweat! I didn't even think twice to lock the door or put the "Privacy Please" sign on the outside of the door, because our room had already been cleaned while I was at the gym. I am sure you can see where this is going!!!!

I always take a shower with the bathroom door closed. I think I have seen too many scary movies where a woman is attacked in the shower, so for this reason, I close and usually lock the door if I am alone. After turning off the water to the shower, I grabbed my towel and dried off. Than I wrapped my towel around my head to suck all the water out of my hair. Needless to say I was stark naked except for a towel on my head. I opened the bathroom door, and just as soon as I did a man working in the hotel walked in and saw all of my "wobbly bits" as Bridget Jones so lightly puts it! I screeched, ran back into the bathroom, slamming the door and he ran out the door apologizing several times as he left!

Oh but that's not it. I waited in the bathroom because of my sheer embarrassment and threw on a robe! When I slowly crept from the bathroom what did I find, the sweet little mini bar re filler man! He was replacing a package of crackers we had eaten from the minibar! COME ON! Why did it have to be at the exact moment in time, that I was leaving the bathroom naked as a jaybird! He handed me the crackers and neither of us looked each other in the eyes! lol
The things that happen to me! I should write a book.

Well I don't know who was more embarrassed, me or the minibar man. But at least this is something we both won't forget for a long time!

Hope someone gets a bit of laughter from my awkward situation! I know I'm laughing now, why not, I feel sorry for that poor guy!

Have a lovely Tuesday!