Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Seriously, this only happens to me!

So after taking Jon to work this morning I returned home and parked on the left side of our one way street. As I got out, I stepped in kind a grassy dirt area on the sidewalk where a tree is planted and walked the block to our apartment. I sat down at the computer like I do every morning, only this morning I smelled a funky aroma in the air. I kept getting whiffs of this awful smell and had no idea where the heck it was coming from. Finally, after smelling it several times, I checked the bottoms of my shoes and sure enough I had stepped in dog poo! Oh ya. Not just a little, but the entire bottom of my shoe was COVERED in poo. This must have been poo from a ginormous dog, like "The Beast" from "The Sandlot" or something.

At that moment in time I was thanking the Lord that we do not have carpet and then spent SEVERAL minutes cleaning my shoe with scalding hot water. I finally got it off but have it admit that was one of the grossest moment I've had in a while. I had to pick the poo out with a small spoon because my shoes have a gazillion tiny crevasses on the bottom of them. GROSS I know! But I finally got it spic and span. And managed to keep my breakfast down.

When it came around to lunch time I headed back down the block to the car so I could grab Jon and Sarah. As I was driving down the road there came the smell again, gut wrenching burn your nose hairs kind of poo smell. Why in the world would that smell still be lingering?
But it wasn't still lingering......sure enough, I stepped in the same freakin' pile of poo again, only this time got it on the other shoe! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, I knew the pile was there, but my brain completely forgot and I managed to step right in the same area again. Who does that? Only this time I managed to smear it all over my husbands car mat which now needs to be washed. GROSS!!

Dear Beast Owner,

Please pick up your dogs mess when they finish, it's just common courtesy. That is why on every street there are little doggy bags for people to use. The country of Germany supplies them for that very reason!

Thanks,
Disgruntled Stephanie


I told Jon and of course all he can do is laugh and say "April Fools!" No he did not place the poo there for me to step in, but it sure was a nice prank from "The Beast." Thanks a lot!

I guess that's my pay back for playing all of those pranks on my brother when we were younger for April Fools. Like tying a rubber band around the sprayer on the kitchen sink, so when he turned on the faucet, water sprayed everywhere including all over him..... Karma, that's what I get!

Happy April Fools everyone! Watch your step ;)

20 comments:

lesley said...

If it makes you feel any better, I've stepped in my own dog's poo in my own back yard on my way to my car before work SEVERAL times. One time, I didn't realize I had some on my shoe until after I got into work and I was at my cubicle and thought uh-oh!! So I had to go to the bathroom and wipe it off. (I went into a stall because I was embarrased, lol. Though everyone probably wondered what the heck THAT smell was :s)

New Girl on Post said...

Oh my gosh! That's just beyond nasty! I feel for you! I always pick up after my dog, so I don't understand people that don't.

Mrs. G.I Joe said...

EWWWWWWW! I've done that before and yes the smell is aweful!!! Cleaning that poo of your shoes is the pits. While reading your story and the part of washing it off I could alomst smell it as I had to do the same...That dang hot water just cooks the stuff and makes it smell even worse! K, gonna go vomit now:p I have such a weak stomach when it comes to stuff like that:p Hope you can get it out of those matts!

Lindsey said...

OH NO! I'm sorry friend!

Shannon said...

ewwwiiee :( I cannot stand to see people let their dog poo in public and then walk away & leave it! I mean, if it happens in their own backyard fine...but public areas?!? Yuck! Well, from now on at least you will be walking extra careful ;)

Grand Pooba said...

LOL! That is just priceless! Girl, we could be sisters. Why does stuff like that always happen?

The Mrs. said...

not only once but twice! bahaha aaww that is a mean april fool's prank from the beast! I am so sorry you had a yucky poo morning, hopefully it will get better!!!

Young Traveler said...

April Fool's Day is a cruel, cruel holiday.

(and that dog from the Sandlot is seriously scary).

Kathy's Red Door Welcome said...

What's funny is when you tied a rubber band around the faucet so that it sprayed everywhere when your brother turned it on. You are a very imaginitive person!

SKELLER said...

ick! poop x2! blech!

You might want to check out Pioneer Woman's post from yesterday (thepioneerwoman.com/confessions) - I'll think you'll relate ;-).

Kebi Cedawna said...

Eww, the whole scraping with a spoon sentence got me.
Happy April Fools Day! Hopefully the rest of your day won't be so Crappy! haha (I'm such a dork)

Chase said...

THE BEAST!
so good. makes me miss my childhood.

but doesn't make me miss steppin in poo. sorry about that one.

Candice said...

You poor thing! I hate it when stuff like that happens!

It's cracking me up that you keep referring to this mystery dog as "the beast" Thanks for the laugh:)

Emily said...

what a great start to your day and a great start to your lunch! No fun! I surely would of thrown up.. nothing like the gross smell of dog poo on your shoe! dont park there again:)

Kelley and Rhett said...

OH MY GOSh! how gross is that! so sad that it happened twice too! yuck! I stepped in fresh dog poo one time and it was the worst smelling thing ever, and I didn't realize it until after I had started driving! I'm so sorry and that's a terrible almost april fools joke!

Mrs. D said...

Oh wow! That is so gross! I hate it when people don't pick up their dog poo. Where we live, they put out doggie poo bags for you to use.. it seems like the only people that use them are the ones with little dogs. I think the people with big dogs are even grossed out to pick up their dogs poo! Sorry you had to deal with that, but that is SO something I would do.. stepping in the same thing twice!

Impulsive Addict said...

That shiz stinks! Literally. I may have threw up in my mouth a little.

Lisa said...

Not gonna lie, I had a good laugh. Sure hope karma doesn't come back to bite me in the butt there... :)

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aura said...

HAHA! sorry but I laughed out loud at my computer.